How Can We Feel Less Alone?
“I am never less alone than when I am alone,” Cicero famously wrote. It’s a reminder to cultivate a rich interior life so that we can become our own best company. Inevitably, there will be periods when we find ourselves alone.
It’s hard right now with restrictions on travel, eating out, going to church, or spending time at a our favorite coffee shop or watering hole — many of the common ways we engage in human contact.
In this time of pandemic, we are all separated from someone we love. The sadness of that — especially for those who live alone — is profound. That came through to me during two recent online retreats I guided, one on cultivating silence as a spiritual practice, and the other on making the most of this “pause” that we’re in.
At both retreats, people spoke with heart-wrenching honesty about how much they’ve missed having personal contact over the past six months. No handshakes, hugs, or embraces. For many of us, there is all too much silence.
We are affected whether we live alone or within a family unit or small circle of friends. Social distancing, however, doesn’t mean we stop connecting. We can call, text, email, write notes, send cards, or join one of the many interesting retreats and programs being offered online. A friend of mine says her mother who lives in another state now writes her more letters than ever.
The Church on the Hill in Weston, VT generously sponsored my recent retreat on “The Art of Pausing.” We ended our time together by writing three-line poems — Japanese haiku — about a sacred or transcendent moment we’d experienced in the past week.
Writing a daily haiku is something I advocate as a meditation practice. Writing these lines puts us in touch with the wonder, beauty, and mystery that is all around us. It gives us a better sense of having lived the day.
It’s a practice that taps into the small, simple moments we might otherwise have missed. When we focus on all that we have to be thankful for, how can we not feel less alone?
Exchanging haiku with friends is a creative way of staying in touch. Here are just a few of the three-line poems that emerged from our retreat:
Believe and then your
heart center will find comfort
and embrace what comes
— Cynthia Gallo Callan
God’s invitation
Take the time to see — to hear
In deepest heart space
— Carol Vesota
And, this one that seemed to sum up our retreat together:
What an inspiring afternoon!
Just pausing to take it all in
Remembering all the smiling faces
— Rose Lanese
All of these lines were written in less than 10 minutes!
Several people on the retreat expressed the desire to begin a haiku exchange with those they can’t be with.
One of the participants, Michael Kroth of Boise, Idaho, is part of a writing group that sends out their three-line poems printed on postcards. These “Haiku Drops,” as Michael calls them, are always a welcome sight when they arrive in my mailbox.
Michael also shares his beautiful poems and thoughts at www.profoundliving.live.
Pat Leyko Connelly, who organized “The Art of Pausing” retreat for The Church on the Hill, posts a “Haiku Prayer” along with one of her photographs nearly everyday on her Facebook page. Pat’s haiku prayers never fail to lift my spirits.
What are some of the creative ways we can reach out to others with an encouraging word? How can we help each other know that no one is alone?
www.judithvalente.com/the-art-of-pausing
